I'll never forget the day Beau brought Dexter home. I was napping on the couch and I woke to the sound of little claws clicking around on the kitchen floor. I got up and saw Dexter for the first time. I must admit I was taken aback...he was behaving strangely and he had been shaved. It didn't take but a few minutes before I fell in love. He had been rescued from the streets when he was 3 by our vet. He was agressive and had been mistreated. He fur was matted, he had heartworms and was underweight. He just needed a family to love him and we needed a dog to love. Dexter was not just any dog. Most people didn't understand him. There were several people who loved Dexter and who he loved as well. He knew who was a dog lover and who wasn't. He was our protection, our friend, our "son", our "brother, our comfort, our stress, our first try at parental responsibility and the presence of unconditional love in our house. There are countless Dexter stories in the almost 10 years that we had him. The one story that I've recounted in my head so many times since he passed is the time he saved Grant's life....at least in my estimation. Avery was a baby. Grant, Avery and I went down for our afternoon nap. Something we did every day. Grant always slept and never got out of his bed but to tell me he was up. This one particular afternoon, I forgot Dexter outside (and I thank God). I made sure Grant was asleep, locked the door and layed down with the baby. About 45 minutes into my nap, I heard Dexter barking like crazy....but that was common for him to bark, what was uncommon was the way he was barking. It was a different pitch, a different way, and incessant. I reluctantly got up to bring him in before he woke the kids. When I went to the door, I found Grant on his tricycle at the road. Dexter knew he was out there and it wasn't right and he was trying to get my attention to protect this little member of his "pack." One cannot imagine my state at that moment. Between my upset over Grant and my immense gratefullness for Dexter, I was quite a case of emotions. We learned two lessons after that day: 1. always deadbolt the door for naps and 2. Dexter had a "get out of jail free" card for the remainder of his life. For the rest of his life when he got himself into trouble we reminded ourselves of that day. Beau wasn't real hip on the idea of getting a dog but let me tell you he was as much Beau's best friend as he was mine....if not more. Over the last year as Dexter's health has declined, every time we opened the gate coming home we held our breath waiting for him to bark and this time, he didn't....and I knew in my heart he was gone. We miss him immensely. I cannot express the sadness and grief in our hearts over this dog whom we loved and won our hearts. He would have done anything to protect us. Beau said, he loved our family and he protected our family...he did his job and he was able to die knowing his did his job and he did it well. We will always have a special place in our hearts for Dexter and no other dog will ever replace him. We love you Dexter, Dexy, Tebwezz, Port-o-Mack, Ft. Smith, Forto Gregory and our hearts ache in your absence.

I was afraid I'd do this. I was determined to keep up with this blog. I was certain I'd do this often. I have failed! I am going to try to keep up for a while longer. So, a lot has been going on since June. We've survived the summer...well, we didn't survive the summer, we thoroughly enjoyed the summer. We stayed home for the most part as summer is Daddy's busy time of the year. Uncle Frank, Blakely and Ally came in for 10 days and we LOVED every minute of it! You don't know how much you really miss family until they are 700 miles away. It occurred to me that my brother has been in Kansas for almost 20 years now! I cannot believe that. It is such a good time when we are together....laughs are plenty and bonding happens. We adore my neices and soak up every minute we have with them as those minutes are so few and far between. What I wouldn't do to be a part of their lives daily. Savy G turned 1. What a year it's been for my sister's family and here she is 1 year old and healthy as a horse! Daddy had to have a second back operation while recovering from the first and is on the road to healing again slowly but getting there. August 7th rolled around before we knew it and Grant has begun the 2nd grade! Boy is that big boy or what??? Avery and I had a small pity party when Grant started school. We both missed our "Bubbies" a lot so we made the traditional pepperoni pinwheels and first day cupcakes for his first day home from school! Now, we get our business done each day and anxiously await the big yellow bus to come down the road at 3:45 each day. So far Grant has done well adjusting to being in school again. He misses being home with me and Sissy but he's glad to be back in the swing of things. Avery will start pre-K on September 1st. It will be a monumental occasion. The baby is going to school and Mommy will be sad and proud. Avery has waited so long for this day. Unlike Grant was at that age, she is more than ready to get this ball rolling! It will only be 3 days/week for 3hours each day...just enough for me to do Wal-Mart and housework and go get her! I am tinkering with the idea of tutoring some at the private schools in Denham while Avery is in school or maybe just volunteering at the nursing home by my house. We shall see. Until then, cold weather and camping is just around the corner and we are all four very excited about that! Until next time.....

Well, that about sums it up. 12 wonderful, fabulous, love and laugh-filled years...no, not perfect, but perfectly unperfect, if you ask me. It is truly amazing how quickly the time flies by. I can still remember the first day I saw Beau walking in the breezeway at McNeese en route to Kaufman from Kirkman wearing khakis, a yellow Nautica polo, Nike tennis shoes and a Cal Berkley hat. From the moment I saw him, I knew I had to meet him. Beau tells me I did a pretty good job with my eyes letting him know I was definitely interested. The rest is a long fun story but I'll save that for another day. I feel that we have truly embodied the "becoming one." It used to amaze us that one of us would say something random and the other was thinking the same thing at the same time....it happens so often now that we're just convinced that we are just that in sync with one another. It occurred to me recently that I love him more every day and now I love him for totally different or rather, more reasons than I ever knew I could. He is literally my very best friend and there is noone I would ever rather spend time with than him. I know for certain that I married my soul mate...the one I live for, LOVE to laugh with and love with every fiber of my being to the depths of my soul. A little dramatic? Sure, but no words can describe the way I feel about him...and I don't think words ever will.

It seems like just yesterday that my baby girl was born. When I found out I was pregnant, I just knew it was a boy. I was prepared for a boy and really liking the idea of having two boys especially since Grant was such an easy-going, loveable, laid back boy. I had envisioned all sorts of things with brothers and a whole brood of boys! One bright January morning I was shocked to see the ultrasound printed out and reading "Grant's sister" with an arrow pointing to the baby. I just KNEW it was a boy and had totally prepared mentally for that. Now, it was time to switch gears...pink gears! I started getting really excited about pretty pink things and hair bows and sewing, etc...Easy pregnancy until the end. On my last appointment, Dr. Mac said my blood pressure was high and I could either stay on bedrest indefinitely or go in and be induced in two days. We chose the latter. We went in on a Thursday night, pitocin was started in the wee hours. I insisted on a natural labor/delivery again and this time it was far worse as I had back labor very bad....but a good tub in my room. After my water broke and real labor progressed, it wasn't long. Avery was born at 4:15 on Friday, May 27th 2005. She was 7 lbs 8 oz. and that was 2 weeks early! She was so laid back and took to breastfeeding MUCH easier than her brother had. We brought her home on Saturday. Heather was keeping Grant and Olivia at our house. The AC had gone out and we came home to an 80 degree house in May. Beau was able to get someone to come out and fix it late that night after pulling the "my wife and newborn" card. Next day Beau (our protector and provider) put a sign on both doors of the house that said "NO VISITORS: Cathy had a rough labor/delivery and awful day yesterday!" it made some people mad...I thought it was a very loving and protecting act! And then, AC went out again. So, we trekked an hour south to my gracious mother-in-law's house to stay until the AC was fixed for sure. No place is a good place to be other than home when you come home from the hospital, but her house was the next best thing! By Monday, the AC was fixed and we were officially home. When I think back on Avery's infancy, I recall a moment that makes me and Beau laugh today. One night, I insisted on taking over parenting duties for Grant's bedtime b/c I had been recovering for a few days and Daddy had been doing that. I tried. He wanted Daddy. He didn't want Mommy. Even though my head told me not to take it personally, my heart did. Then Grant dropped the bomb! "I want Daddy! Can't you just go put Avery back in your tummy????" I was crying, he was crying and Beau was bringing me Avery b/c she was crying and needed to nurse. I just remember the four of us in the kitchen floor....3/4 of us crying and 1/4 of us shaking his head like "who do I fix first???" Good times!
I love my sweet, funny, chatty, chatty, chatty little Avery. I can't imagine what life would be like without her...too quiet, that's for sure!

Wow! We just got home from Grant's Awards Day program. Sometimes I wish I weren't such a crier. I'm here to tell ya, I'm about to be elected the town crier for the amount of tears I shed over joy, sadness, pride, etc... This academic year has been an amazing one for Grant! Last year was so tough...starting all day Kindergarten, being bullied, having to learn to stand up for himself, trying to come out of his shell. This year, I remember didn't start out so great either. Unfortunately with the 4 deaths in the family in one year, Grant had a very rough first two weeks after the passing of Toot. He went through the terrified phase of not wanting to leave home for fear that we would die and after many, many shed tears (between both of us), lots of prayers, having to peel him off of me to go to school and seeing the school counselor he got past that phase. No 6 year old should have to deal with that many family members passing in one calendar year. He began to really come out of his shell socially....making lots of new friends and really loving school and his teacher. We were blessed to have Grant in the class he was in. His teacher was amazing! So amazing, in fact, that she won teacher of the year (at which award presentation, I cried for her....GEEZ!) Towards the end of the year at our parent/teacher conference Grant's teacher gave me a fabulous report of Grant's academics, social skills, leadership qualities and the like. I was beaming. I am so proud of the young man he is becoming (and yes, I am getting choked up while writing this). He was one of 2 today who won the principal's leadership award, many academic awards and even an award for his ability to share his knowledge and input in class discussion. He did exceptionally well on his standardized tests and I thank God for all of it and his humility. From the time Grant was conceived, this is what we prayed for....a happy, healthy, intelligent, humble, social baby....God knows the desires of our hearts. I know this. This is my day to brag on my baby and brag I will!

At the teacher conference, Grant's teacher did ask me if Avery was much like her brother. I said "well, if by like him you mean kind, tender, smart, respectful then yes....if you mean by laid back and easy going and quiet, the answer is a resounding NO." She certainly is very different than Grant in that respect. Don't worry, her blog is coming soon and it's sure to prove wordy and chatty just like her!

I love my children. I am so proud to be Grant and Avery's mom. Long before I ever met Beau, I dreamed of pulling up into that carpool and hanging out anxiously waiting on my baby to come and greet me and tell me all about his/her day. I'm here to tell you that when that dream came true, it was all I ever hoped of and more. Ok, so maybe hanging out in the carpool line isn't your dream of motherhood but to me, it was going to be the moment I had "arrived" as a mother. Being a stay-at-home mom isn't as easy as a lot of people think, but I promise you it's the most rewarding job I'll ever have. So what do we do...exactly? MOMS sit in the carpool and anxiously await the play-by-play of the day, MOMS obsess over how many times their 3 year has pooped that week, MOMS get frustrated and then laugh over what was so frustrating later, MOMS can NEVER get enough hugs and kisses and sometimes have to force them on their almost 7 yr old who isn't giving them as often as he used to, MOMS love, MOMS fuss, MOMS' hearts ache for their children, MOMS laugh the loudest when their kid is the comedian, MOMS cry the hardest when their children are hurting, MOMS love to make birthday cakes exactly the way their child has dreamed it up even if it means staying up half the night just to see the smile on their face, MOMS cherish the homemade cards over any gift ever bought, MOMS read...A LOT of children's books and love doing all of the voices, MOMS take walks, MOMS listen, MOMS mess up...often, but MOMS do everything they can to make life a balance of love, fun and structure (which yes, includes discipline) for the greater good of their children. Obviously that isn't the extent of what moms do, but to me, those are just a few of the job descriptions I had in my mind when the job of motherhood made itself available to me. Whatever your motherhood job description was in your mind, I wish you all the best in fullfilling those duties and I promise you that I will do my best too to get the job done....as best I know how. Happy Mother's Day!

As Mother's Day approaches once again, I feel compelled to tell you about my mother. My mom in words...fun, funny, loving, gentle, kind, wise, cute, strong, friendly, optimistic...I could go on and on. If you know my mom, you would probably agree and if you didn't, well, them's is fighting words! I realize often just how big a part of my life that my mother is (especially when she calls me today concerned b/c she hasn't heard from me since Wednesday night - and don't get my sister started...she teases me often that I call them way too much.) The fact of the matter is that I don't call my mom every day or every other day because I need to...I call her often because my heart desires to share with her all it has that day. My mother is the most wonderful role model of what it is to be a mother and I give her so much credit for making me the mother I am today. I don't think women really can appreciate their mothers to the fullest until they have children. As a mother myself, I can look back now and see when my heart ached, hers ached more and when I experienced joy, she shared it with me more than anyone else. My mother is the woman/wife/mother I aspire to be every day...cliche'? Sure. But true nonetheless. So mom, when you read this, know that I love you and I thank you for my addiction to treats and soda, loving to take road trips with me, being the strong but loving disciplinarian you were, listening to all of my silly rants, being my eternal optimist (right alongside Beau) and my biggest cheerleader, giving me honest advice, praying with me, being my audience when I so often wanted one and being the encourager and mother every girl should be so blessed to have. Happy Mommy's Day!